Many of us have heard the statistics in relation to men's mental health, and it can be very confronting. This Men's Health Week on the 12th-18th of June, is an opportune time to check in with yourself and the people in your life. At AccessEAP, we often hear from men that they feel pressure to be seen as invulnerable, stoic, and fearless. To challenge the stigma around men's mental health we invite you to think about what it means to be a man.
Take a moment and ask yourself, “what does being a man mean? What attributes do I associate with a man?” To find your answer to this, you might try finishing this statement in as many different ways that occur to you: “A man is….” Just write down or speak out loud whatever immediately comes to you.
Whatever you wrote or spoke is indicative of the mindset you hold around ‘maleness’.
When I was around 12 years old, I was playing rugby league at school one afternoon, and during practice, my jaw was hit and pushed up, and to my shock, I was spitting out bits of tooth. I stopped running and looked at the bits of tooth in my hand. The next thing I heard was someone saying, ‘don’t be a sissy!’. Being a ‘sissy’ was clearly not something I was supposed to be.
We all have ideas about what we believe is right/wrong, good/bad, who we are supposed to be/ who we are not supposed to be. These ideas are formed by our upbringing, the society we live in, and our inherited characteristics. In other words, the reasons why we hold certain views is an intricate web of interconnected influences. It can be useful to ask ourselves, ‘do my views support me and the people around me to live a life where I and others move towards a flourishing life?’
‘Flourishing’ is a word used in positive psychology. It’s defined as consisting of 5 elements: positive emotion, engagement, relationships, meaning and accomplishment. So, you may want to consider this: does your notion of what it means to be man support you to experience positive emotions, engagement with your work and life, supportive and healthy relationships, a sense of living a meaningful life, and a sense of accomplishment?
This is a big question, which you will probably need some time to consider. You could write your thoughts down about it, you could discuss your ideas with friends and family, and perhaps, out of this, you start to change your mind around what ‘being a man’ means to you.
As always, our counsellors and coaches are here to help. Call us if you would like to talk through your ideas of what ‘being a man’ means to you. Are these ideas helping you to flourish?
We're here to support you, contact AccessEAP on 1800 818 728.
Stephen Malloch, Manager Clinical Consulting