Women’s Invisible Load
The invisible load is a book written by Dr Libby Weaver, which breaks down where much of our stress and overwhelm comes from. This book inspired one of our Associate Clinicians, Julie Chalmers, and is a topic she brought to light during our International Women’s Day Events. We wanted to share more on this insightful topic which affects most women. Whether they realise it or not.
“Our invisible load is the stress we carry, that no one sees, that drives how we think and feel. From the physical load on our body to the emotional load in our mind, this invisible load is what really sits at the heart of our stress. And until we learn to unpack this, reducing our experience of stress will be almost impossible.” Dr Libby Weaver, The invisible load.
What’s your invisible load?
Invisible loads can look different for each of us. It’s about carrying the mental burden of ‘responsibility’ even when we’re sharing the load or not physically doing the task that responsibility relates to. Perhaps you are the walking family calendar; you know when it’s time to take the dogs to the vet, when the children are due their vaccinations or what vitamins they need to take after dinner each night. Someone’s birthday? You remember to buy a present and send a card. Or perhaps you are the responsible one who manages the family budget and takes care of all the bills. Maybe you’re the planner, planning every detail to the last dot. An upcoming family holiday? You scroll through the latest deals, assess the safest countries, and decide on what is the most affordable spot.
If you are reading this, you probably work in an organisation, and if you work in an organisation you almost certainly are very aware of the passing of time as measured by a clock. On my computer screen I see the clock on the bottom right-hand corner. It’s telling me I have an hour until I need to stop writing this article so I can be somewhere else.
We arrive at meetings at agreed clock times, we catch planes, trains, buses and meet with our friends in restaurants all at agreed clock times. So it can seem that a clock and time are the same thing.
But different cultures have different ideas about time. Some cultures are more clock-time oriented, and others more activity or event-time oriented. The first looks to the clock to measure how long a task should take – it’s a more mechanical approach. The second is more focused on the group sense of how long an event takes – it's focused on how the community feels about the event and the changing environment in which the event takes place (for example, the changes as the sun rises and sets).
And then there are other time senses that we have. We all experience biological rhythms – like sleeping and waking, appetite changes, fluctuations in our body temperature, and the menstrual cycle.
Then there’s our subjective experience of time. When we are bored, time can feel like it’s dragging, and a task will never end. And then, when we are racing to complete a task it can feel like time has sped up. And when we are emersed in something we love doing, it can feel like time stops, and when we finish what we’re doing we realise hours have past.
From time to time we all encounter situations where we need to have a constructive conversation with someone. It may be that your job requires you to have these conversations with people on a regular basis. A common myth is that raising the issue might make things worse. However, a carefully constructed conversation might save things from getting worse.
Here are some tips for initiating a potentially difficult conversation:
- Be Confident with your Concerns
It can be easy to stop ourselves from raising concerns by minimising their importance. For example, we may tell ourselves we are “just being silly” or we are “being too sensitive” or “it’s not such a big deal really”. If it is impacting on you or someone else negatively, it is important. Be clear with yourself about the reasons why you are initiating the conversation.
- Focus on the Behaviour
Let the person know that it is their behaviour which is upsetting or concerning to you.
As a part of our Wellbeing Calendar's Theme of Finding Balance, below is an activity to help you focus on what you can control.
1. On a piece of paper, draw two circles – one inside the other.
2. The inner circle is the Circle of Influence where you write worries you can control.
3. The outer circle is the Circle of Concern where you write worries you cannot control.
4. The points in your Circle of Influence are where we can make proactive change in our lives by calling on our connections and strengths for a positive result. The more we focus on our Circle of Influence, the happier and more in control of our lives we will feel.
Dorienne Spennato, AccessEAP Director, Clinical Services Delivery and Sally Laugesen, Associate Director, Organisational Development and Workforce Strategy Workforce discuss the pilot program implemented at the Sydney Children's Hospital.
Sydney Children's Hospital Pilot Program
As we continue to navigate through the challenges of COVID, we know that healthcare workers are on the frontline and still under immense pressure. Recognising the strain facing the healthcare industry, we partnered with Sydney Children's Hospital in 2020, implementing a pilot program to bring EAP to their people. With healthcare workers experiencing fatigue, high workloads and long hours, the aim of the program was to provide accessible support at a crucial time. Our approach was collaborative, investigative and collective, to ensure we were providing the right support.
A permanent onsite clinician was offered to all staff at group and individual levels. Supervision and wellbeing checks were also implemented to support differing roles. The result of the program was increased awareness, trust and utilisation. Staff are using both the EAP and onsite service, more than doubling the uptake of counselling services and leading to better outcomes for their people.
How can we support you?
AccessEAP is your Employee Assistance Program (EAP), your proactive mental health and wellbeing service here to support you. Confidential and free for staff, we offer access to counselling, coaching and training. Utilising EAP has become even more important in recent times, with people facing long wait times for counselling appointments through their GP and with the reduction of the Medicare-funded psychology sessions occurring at the end of this year.
During the pandemic, the government increased the number of Medicare-funded psychology sessions each year from 10 to 20, recognising the impact the pandemic was having on the mental health of Australians. In the 2021-22 financial year alone, 1,023,241 additional sessions were provided by psychologists1, highlighting the real need for support. This increase will end on the 31st of December 2022, reverting to 10 sessions.
The decision to reduce the number of Medicare sessions was based on a study from the University of Melbourne. The study suggested the current system was not providing equitable access for lower socio-economic groups and those living in regional areas. The government will convene a forum of experts and people with lived experience of mental illness early next year to assess the recommendations of the University of Melbourne report.
The danger of reducing the Medicare-funded sessions before that review is completed is increased anxiety in the community and more barriers for those with mental health concerns to receive adequate support. At AccessEAP, we acknowledge that people may be concerned and recognise that this change may affect you or people within your organisation. With the reduction of sessions, we encourage the use of EAPs to help bridge the gap with long wait times and to add another layer of support.
We are here ready to support you. Contact AccessEAP on 1800 818 728.
Shari Walton, Organisational Development Consultant
A key building block of positive psychology and wellbeing is character strengths. These 24 positive traits were determined in a 3-year research project involving 55 scientists and are manifested behaviourally, cognitively, and emotionally. They form part of the Engagement pillar of Professor Martin Seligman’s wellbeing model, and everybody has experienced at one time or other getting lost in an activity because it is so engaging. This is often referred to as “being in the zone” or in a state of “flow”, a theory introduced by Hungarian-born researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in the 1970s. During this optimal flow experience, individuals feel strong, alert, in effortless control and at the peak of their abilities.
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Research proposes that everyone has 24 character strengths. These are personality qualities like creativity, honesty, humour, and perseverance. What makes everyone unique, is that some strengths come more naturally to them than they do for others.
When you complete the free scientific VIA Character Strengths Survey, your results will reveal which strengths rank highest and lowest for you. Understanding and applying your strengths will help you increase happiness levels, boost confidence, strengthen relationships and improve work performance. For leaders, they can provide greater insights into individual styles, team dynamics and contribute to developing a high-performing, effective team.
AccessEAP wishes you all the best for the Festive Season. We appreciate the opportunity to be your pro-active mental health and wellbeing service and would like to thank you for continuing your partnership with us. Through utilising the service, you have helped make the lives of vulnerable children and families a little easier. As a profit-for-purpose organisation our surplus profits go to programs that support vulnerable women and children. For more information about the H.O.P.E. Program, see here.
Please be assured our counselling and onsite services are available 24/7, 365 days a year however our other business functions observe the Australian public holidays and a break from 26th December to 13th January 2023.
As we reach the end of the year, reset with our 12 Wellbeing Tips for the Festive Season. AccessEAP is here to support you through the festive season and into the new year. Call us on 1800 818 728.
The AccessEAP 2023 Wellbeing Calendar and Quarter 1 Pack has launched! Finding Balance within our personal and professional lives can be tricky so we have created the Quarter 1 Pack to help get you started.
The theme for Quarter 1 is Finding Balance, highlighting the following key awareness days:
- 24th January: International Day of Education
- 13th February: Anniversary of National Apology Day
- 8th March: International Women’s Day
- 17th March: World Sleep Day
- 21st March: Harmony Day
Download the Quarter 1 Pack - Finding Balance
Access the calendar and the Q1 Pack (Poster, Infographic & Activity) via the Employee Login Area - https://www.accesseap.com.au/employees/index.php
Email Template and Suggested Training & Services
The calendar along with leader resources and suggested training & services is available via the Employer Login- https://www.accesseap.com.au/employers/index.php
Shari Walton, Organisational Development Consultant
The term emotional intelligence was popularized in 1995 by psychologist and behavioural science journalist Dr. Daniel Goleman in his book, Emotional Intelligence. Dr. Goleman described emotional intelligence as a person's ability to manage their feelings so that those feelings are expressed appropriately and effectively. Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence Framework contains four components.
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Some suggestions for how to embed key components from each of the four quadrants are outlined below.
We’ve all done it. It seemed like the right thing to say or do at the time – maybe we thought it would sound witty or be deeply appreciated. Or maybe it was a knee-jerk reaction. Whatever the circumstance, we have all experienced those moments when the outcome is so very different to what we imagined, and then when we ask ourselves “Why did I just do that?” we don’t have an answer… and we then criticise ourselves for acting in the way we did.
A lot of those moments come down to not paying thoughtful attention to our and others’ emotions. Emotional Intelligence is “The ability to monitor your own and others’ feelings, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide your thinking and actions” (Salovey & Mayer, 1990).
Let’s unpack that.
First, it’s the ability to be aware that you or someone else is feeling something. We are always feeling something. Even feeling neutral about something is feeling something. So it’s the ability to recognise that feelings are always with us and to pay attention to this.
Second, it’s the ability to discriminate what you or someone else is feeling. You notice you are feeling something, and then you pause and ask yourself – what is that? Aim to put a label to it. Is that tightening in your stomach anger, anxiety or excitement? When we practice, we can get quite good at assigning labels to emotions. We might be able to label an emotion as ‘embarrassed anger’ or ‘nervous anxiety’ or ‘fearful excitement.’ Getting more fine-grained in identifying how we and others might be feeling helps us with the next step.
November 18th is White Ribbon Day. It's an opportunity to bring people together – in person or online - to raise awareness and commit to action to prevent violence against women. Learn more about the day and how you can keep the momentum going forward on the White Ribbon Website here.
On October 17th State and Federal governments released the National Plan to end violence against women and children. This is a 10-year plan that includes a framework of actions to end violence against women and children in one generation. It highlights how all parts of society including governments, business and workplaces, media, schools, and communities must work together towards a shared vision of ending gender-based violence.
Read more about the plan and how AccessEAP can support you and your organisation in our article- Release of the National Plan to End Violence Against Women and Children 2022-2032.
This November Support Act is partnering with triple j and the Australian Recording Industry Association for AusMusic T-Shirt Day. It's a great way to show support for Australian music - and the people who make it. The day will be held on Friday the 18th of November and will help raise funds to provide crisis relief and mental health services to artists, crew and music workers who are doing it tough.
"Ausmusic T-Shirt Day is an annual day of fun and awareness to celebrate Aussie music and raise urgently-needed funds for music workers in crisis. After the last few shocking years of bushfires, pandemic, floods and now the sky high cost of living, the music industry needs your help more than ever before." Visit the AusMusic T-shirt Day Website here.
The Support Act Wellbeing Helpline is a free, confidential counselling service that is available to anyone working in Australian music (all genres), or the Australian Performing Arts, who needs to talk to someone about any aspect of their wellbeing. It is delivered in partnership with AccessEAP, and is staffed by professional counsellors who offer expertise in all areas related to mental health (e.g. depression, anxiety, addiction) as well as issues which can be mental health-related (such as loneliness, relationship breakdown, financial worries, illness and workplace conflict).
The service is accessible 24 hours a day, 365 days per year by calling 1800 959 500 within Australia. Find out more information about the Support Act Wellbeing Helpline here.
Embedding link: https://vimeo.com/672144321
MYTH 1 - What about Confidentiality? Someone will find out, my boss and colleagues will know.
Although the EAP counselling sessions are paid for by your employer, the counsellors are independent and anything you discuss with a counsellor is confidential unless; there is a risk of harm to you or someone else or disclosure is required by law. While we do need to collect a few details from you when booking your first appointment, your personal information is kept confidential. AccessEAP has refused to work with organisations who cannot accept our confidentiality code of conduct. Your organisation respects the privacy and confidentiality of the services provided to you to improve your wellbeing.
MYTH 2 - If I have a problem my friends and family will talk/help me through it.
Although you may receive support from family and friends one difference between speaking with a counsellor and a close friend is that the counsellor has a broad knowledge and understanding of human behaviour. Sometimes it also just helps to speak with someone objective who isn’t emotionally involved with you or the situation.
Marcela Slepica, Director, Clinical Services
On October 17th State and Federal governments released the National Plan to end violence against women and children. This is a 10-year plan that includes a framework of actions to end violence against women and children in one generation. It highlights how all parts of society including governments, business and workplaces, media, schools, and communities must work together towards a shared vision of ending gender-based violence.
The statistics are very confronting. 1 in 3 women has experienced physical violence since the age of 15, 1 in 5 has experienced sexual violence and on average 1 woman is killed by an intimate partner every 10 days. The rates are higher for certain groups such as Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women1. To address these staggering figures, the National Plan has 4 domains: Prevention, Early Intervention, Response and Recovery, and Healing. The government is working on clear action plans with the first plan to be released in early 2023.
AccessEAP are very supportive of this National Plan. We continue to provide domestic and family violence counselling and deliver accredited training to organisations around Australia. As a part of our social purpose, we recognise the importance of addressing this issue and in providing vital clinical support for people in need. We encourage all organisations to think about their role and what they can do.
So what can your organisation do? Prevention includes raising awareness and educating your people about domestic and family violence. Organisations also have a role in the Response and Recovery domain. On the 27th October, the Federal Government amended the Fair Work Act and passed a law that all employees will be entitled to 10 days paid Domestic Violence leave. This law comes into effect in February 2023.
Anthony Bui, Learning and Development Advisor
“Mindfulness is the awareness that arises through paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally” American Professor Jon Kabat-Zinn
How often do we spend time dwelling on past events or worrying about the future? Are we connected to what’s going on in the present or busy indulging in other thoughts? How does this affect our ability to stay calm in tense situations at work or within our relationships? How does this impact on our approach to leadership?
Mindfulness is being aware, accepting and not judging or attaching. It doesn’t mean being a passive observer, rather that we acknowledge what we are feeling or thinking and allow the space to respond constructively.
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