In a recent nation-wide study, involving over 4,000 people, almost 1 in 3 Australians reported feeling lonely, with 1 in 6 experiencing severe loneliness.[1] And while 40% of people who said they are lonely live alone, 30% of people who live with others also report feeling lonely.
All this suggests loneliness is a problem in this country.
Continuing on from World Mental Health Day, it is a good time to consider your own degree of social connection and sense of belonging – both important ingredients for good mental health.
When we feel connected to others, we feel understood by them. And feeling understood and connected is a basic human need. It begins from the moment we are born. Loving caregivers want to understand what a baby needs – are they hungry, too cold, too warm? Do they need to be picked up and held? Babies are very good at communicating when they are not understood – they become unhappy and let others know it! And they are also very good at communicating when they are understood – they look into an adult’s eyes and smile, or perhaps laugh and make ‘happy sounds’. It’s obvious when a baby feels understood – they look happy and connect with those around them.
But as we become adults, we can learn to hide when we are not feeling understood – we learn to pretend that we are happy, but inside we know we’re not. Why do we do this? Perhaps we tried to get people to understand us, but we just couldn’t make it happen. Maybe no one really got what we were about. And maybe we started to feel ashamed about that. We started to feel that this was somehow our fault.