Checking in and having important conversations with those around you.
Check-in and stay connected. We hear this so often in social media posts, news reports and written articles around keeping up our connections. But what does that actually mean and what does it look like when we do “check-in?”
This is incredibly personal and in fact, reflecting on what you have done in the past will be useful in building your approach to this. This doesn’t mean that you run down your entire contact list weekly and check-in with everyone with a stock standard message. It also doesn’t mean you are without boundaries around how much you can give and what you are able to offer.
My own approach to this is if someone crosses my mind and we haven’t interacted recently, I contact them and enquire about their wellbeing. I also take an hour out of my week and check that I go through my personal emails/messenger and texts to ensure that I haven’t forgotten to get back to people who have taken the time to reach out to me.
For most of us (if we are very lucky) we have a small group of people whom we trust and know we can contact. Being able to ask for help is probably the most vulnerable thing that we can do and although it feels counterintuitive – it helps to build our connections.
At AccessEAP, we hear that people feel disconnected and would like to have more human interactions, especially during this time of working remotely where there are fewer incidental interactions. There are those of us who feel that we give all of our energy away and there is not a lot given back. Perhaps we don’t give because we fear rejection or that we may be judged or we don’t think it’s worth reaching out to the people we work with, live with and love. Our challenge to you is to show up for these people – because in a pandemic we need you (and everyone else) more than ever.
So, I can hear you asking how do you do this? The short answer is to contact someone that you care about. You could start with someone who will boost your confidence and success rate and ask “how are you?”, then wait for the answer. If they respond with “fine” or “I’m ok”, ask some more questions. People respond if they hear a genuine interest. The act of giving someone a few minutes in your day to ask how they are can strengthen connection. The backlash here is that we sometimes feel that we have to be their counsellor and this is untrue. We encourage you to listen and suggest that they use our services (if needed) because we have professional staff that can assist and support them. Reach out to someone you work with, someone you haven't spoken to, and say hello today. The number is not important. If no one comes to mind, stop by your neighbour’s door and enquire about how they are going with pandemic measures. Click here for some more suggested strategies.
Finally, do focus on you and look to find ways to connect with others and complete thriving activities. This statement is much harder to complete. But looking back on this pandemic we can say to ourselves that we made the effort to reach out to those around us.
For more information and tips on checking in on those around you, see our article here.
Sally Kirkright, CEO AccessEAP